During Sex Ed for All Month we have invited youth to share their perspectives on sexual health in whatever way it impacts their lives. Enjoy this blog by T.A.

For as long as I can remember I’ve always felt different. I never really felt like I belonged, especially in my evangelical church and my Christian private school. Being Black and queer, I had to find my place of belonging. I didn’t grow up in systems that accepted or even talked about being LGBTQ+. If you’re reading this and no one told you this today: you are so loved the way you are. 

Growing up in a Christian private school, the only sexual health education we had was abstinence-only-until-marriage. I’m not sure how this helped anyone but I know the lack of sexual education caused a lot of confusion in my teenage years. I didn’t learn much about my body and learning any sort of body acceptance or confidence was absent. Sexual health and body confidence go hand in hand.

So, what do you do if you are exploring post evangelicalism and deconstruction? I would first say, find a community that supports you through this journey. This is a journey you can’t do on your own. There are affirming churches as well as many non-religious spaces where you will be welcomed. Look for code words like “inclusive”, “belonging”, and “safe space”. One space that I have found is the Girls at the Center Youth Advisory Council at ACASH. 

My next step would be to research and learn as much as you can. I’ve learned by experience that your community will be your biggest ally. The greatest lesson is that it is okay to change your mind. You can change your mind about your beliefs and faith. It’s okay to live in that space of gray, of uncertainty. You can change your mind about what you believe about yourself. There will always be someone in your corner walking alongside you – you just have to find them. 

I think it is important that queer youth find their place in the church because they should be welcome and feel at home. Your faith and who you are should not be an either or situation. You can love God AND be queer. I believe God delights in that. The God who created sunrises and sunsets also delights in you. A home is where all people feel safe, wanted, and loved.

I find myself wondering if we are leaving things better than we found them. We can honor those who came before us by fighting for the issues we care about. We can stand with our neighbors and those in need. In my experience this was changing denominations to better serve those in need. I believe that the church’s role is to welcome and serve.

You are so loved. I’m so proud of you and can’t wait to see what you do next.

Featured image by Marek Studzinski on Unsplash