Every October ACASH observes Let’s Talk Month, which is dedicated to parents having conversations with their young people about sex and relationships. Adolescence can be filled with confusion as a young person’s body and mind develop. Research has identified that teens aged 12 to 15 are most influenced by their parents’ opinions on sex, so this is an important time to begin having these conversations.
Long gone are the days of “the talk”; rather, we suggest thinking of the first talk as the start of an ongoing dialog. Find safe, comfortable places to approach your young people, such as the family room, their bedroom, or the car (Bonus – in the car they don’t have to look at you, so it makes things a bit less awkward!). It’s okay to feel uncomfortable – even as sex educators who are also parents, we can feel uncomfortable discussing these topics with our own kids. Talk about sex and relationships in a way that is authentic and reflects your personal values, but also make sure they know you love and accept them. You want to be sure to avoid shame, even if they have had experiences you wish they hadn’t.
Your adolescent may have questions, or they may be praying for the conversation to end; either way, be prepared to look up answers together via trustworthy sources. It is okay to not know the answer to everything. Below are some conversation prompts to get you started:
- What are three things you’re looking for in a partner?
- So, what have you heard about ___?
- I heard about ___ on a podcast, have you heard about it?
- What did you think about [insert sexual or relationship scenario] on that show/movie we watched last night?
Try to remain neutral even if something that they share is upsetting. You want them to feel comfortable talking with you, so practice active listening. Ask open-ended and probing questions. Such as “Wow, how did that make you feel?” or “What were you feeling when they told you that?” It can also be affirming to say “Thank you for sharing that with me,” and letting them know they can always talk to you.
An important aspect of these conversations is staying in tune with youth culture, slang, and monitoring their social media and television. What messages are they hearing about online or at school? Are they confused about anything that they’ve seen? These are a good segway to larger conversations.
ACASH is here to help support parents and caregivers to have these talks, so reach out if we can help you find a resource! Below are some more links to help you have a successful Let’s Talk Month:
- https://www.plannedparenthood.org/about-us/newsroom/campaigns/lets-talk-month
- https://www.healthynativeyouth.org/talking-is-power-tools-for-parents/
- https://alabamacampaign.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/ACASH-Parents-InforgraphicGuide-1.pdf
- https://alabamacampaign.org/october-is-lets-talk-month/
Photo by Any Lane: https://www.pexels.com/photo/black-father-talking-to-unrecognizable-son-near-fence-in-countryside-5727779/